The Depression of Kyon
by morbiusgreen
Summary: Kyon's acting strangely, even missing Brigade meetings. When he doesn't show up for school one day, a fuming Haruhi goes to investigate. Whet she finds shakes her to her very core. KyonxHaruhi oneshot. Please review nicely? Thanks!


It was Monday morning, and Kyon found himself walking aimlessly up the hill to school, much like he always had for the past year and a half. Today, he was even more quiet than usual. His face was completely blank, devoid of emotion. He was silent all the way up the hill, but this time Taniguchi didn't walk up behind him to say hi. In fact he didn't say anything. He just looked at Kyon and walked past him without saying a word. He walked into the classroom after changing into his slippers. He walked up to the desk and sat down. Haruhi was already there.

"Hey, Kyon! Don't be late for today's meeting! Today we're going to be talking about what the Brigad's going to do for the upcoming Summer Festival."

Kyon didn't even reply. Haruhi noticed and stared at him.

"Kyon? Did you hear me? Kyon!"

He still didn't reply. Haruhi just said "Whatever," and stared out of the window again. For the entire day, he rarely moved. Haruhi really didn't notice as she was staring out the window all day with a smile on her face.

When school ended, she grabbed her bags and rushed down the hall to the Brigade room. Kyon just sat there for a few seconds before slowly getting up and grabbing his bag.

"Hey, Kyon? Are you all right?" Taniguchi walked up to him as he was quietly packing up. Kunikida grabbed Taniguchi and held him back, slowly shaking his head. Kyon didn't even acknowledge the question as he walked out the door. However, instead of taking his usual right turn, he went left to the locker rooms. He grabbed his shoes, put them on and went home without a word.

* * *

><p>The next day when Kyon walked into the classroom, everyone went silent. They all knew what had happened to him by now and were being silent out of respect.<p>

Everyone, that is, except a certain member of the female persuasion named Haruhi Suzumiya. She glared at him angrily as he walked up to his desk and sat down.

"Where were you, yesterday!" she asked loudly, breaking the silence. Everyone turned and stared at the two. Kyon ignored Haruhi as he began to unpack his books.

"Answer me!" she shouted again. Kyon still didn't answer.

"How dare you ignore your Brigade Leader! Tell me where you were!"

Kyon stopped what he was doing and turned to face Haruhi. The look on his face was completely emotionless. Haruhi's face changed to a mixture of anger and shock.

"Home," was all he said before turning around, sitting down, and ignoring Haruhi for the rest of the day.

At the end of school, Kyon was grabbed by his tie by Haruhi and dragged down to the clubroom. She kicked open the door and dragged him to a chair where she placed him. Everyone was there.

"So Kyon, where were you yesterday?" Itsuki asked as he set up the Othello board. Kyon just stared at the table and replied with the same reply he had given earlier.

"I see," he replied. "Well, while you were gone, I had to deal with two Closed Spaces. One was like normal, but another one was different. The new one seemed like an inverted version of normal Closed Space. The Organization's not really sure where it came from, or even who's created it, because it wasn't created by Haruhi."

Kyon remained silent.

"Since Kyon wasn't here yesterday, I'm giving him the Ultra Penalty! He now has to pay for everything for the next year and no one can talk to him unless I give them my permission!"

When Kyon didn't react, Haruhi and everyone else stared at him. Even Yuki looked at him with her expressionless eyes.

"Um, Ms. Suzumiya, isn't that a bit harsh?" Mikuru asked.

"For once, I agree," Itsuki added.

Haruhi sighed. "Oh, all right, you can talk to him, I guess. But he still has to pay for everything. Now, as I wanted to say yesterday, we need ideas for the Brigade's project for the next Summer Festival. I did want…"

Kyon just stared into space while Haruhi was rambling. Every once in a while, someone (except Haruhi) would look his way and frown with concern, except Yuki, of course. Finally, after Haruhi was done, she sat in her chair and stared out the window with an evil gleam in her eyes as she continued to think. Kyon and Koizumi played Othello silently, Mikuru watched, and Yuki read. The silence was palpable. Finally, Yuki closed her bok, singling the end of the meeting. Haruhi grabbed her bag and said, "I'm going home."

"Well, see you all tomorrow," Itsuki said with his usual smile as he walked out behind Haruhi and Yuki. Kyon just stood and walked out silently, leaving Mikuru to change out of her maid outfit. He changed his shoes, and walked home.

* * *

><p>The next day, Kyon didn't show up for class. No one knew why, but they could guess. Everyone but Haruhi and the S.O.S. Brigade, who still didn't know.<p>

"Damn that Kyon!" Haruhi said when everyone was in the clubroom. "First he misses a meeting, and then he ditches school altogether. What an idiot!" she stood up and pulled out her cell phone and called his cell. He didn't answer. She tried two more times, but it kept going to voicemail.

"Okay, that does it! Everyone, we're going to Kyon's house right after Mikuru changes! He'd better have a damn good reason for skipping school! His action are reflecting on the entire Brigade and making us look like fools! Let's go, Mikuru!"

Mikuru just shivered in fear as Haruhi started to strip her. Itsuki just left and shut the door. After a few minutes of Haruhi's impatient orders and Mikuru's screams of protest, the three girls exited the room.

"Okay, let's go!" Haruhi said with determination in her voice.

Eventually, they reached Kyon's house. She went up to his front door and knocked. No one was home.

"Are you looking for someone?"

At that, everyone turned. Standing on the sidewalk was an old lady.

"I was just wondering if the person who lived here is home," Haruhi replied with as polite a voice as she could muster.

"I don't think so. Last night around midnight, I heard an ambulance pull up here. Of course, I was still tired so I didn't give it much thought, but now that I think about it, I think someone got hurt last night. You might check the hospital."

Haruhi's eyes widened. The memory of the three day coma Kyon was in that fateful December crawled back into her mind. She bowed and thanked the old lady, then walked off. The others followed her. After taking a few bus rides, they got to the hospital where Kyon had been taken before. When they asked, they said that they did have Kyon, but they couldn't let them see him without the family's permission. They weren't even allowed to say what had happened.

"Haruhi…? What are you and your friends doing here?"

The club turned and saw that the voice belonged to Kyon's little sister. Standing behind her were two a woman whom Haruhi assumed was Kyon's mother.

"Hey," Mikuru greeted the little girl with a smile. The girl ran up to Mikuru and hugged her. Haruhi looked at her and noticed that there were tears in her eyes as she clung to Mikuru.

"I remember you folks, from when Kyon was in a coma that one December," the woman said. Finally Haruhi remembered her face. She didn't know why she had forgotten what Kyon's mother looked like.

"Hello," Haruhi said as she bowed. Everyone else bowed as well.

"I assume you know what happened to Kyon, then?"

Haruhi blinked, confused. "No. he hasn't said two words since Monday."

"I see," Kyon's mother replied. Tears began to form in her eyes.

"Well, you should no something. Kyon tried to commit suicide last night after coming home. He would have died if ihadn't ebtered the room. He was startled and fell out of his window."

Everyone's eyes widened, even Yuki's.

"W…why?" Mikuru asked in a scared voice.

"I don't know, but I can guess. You see, last Saturday, his father wanted to take him out to talk with him about something important, but Kyon said he'd already made plans for the day, so they set the date for Sunday. While he was out doing whatever he does nowadays, his father was driving when a large semi ran a red light and hit his car. He died minutes later. When we told him about it after he got home, he went silent. And so far, he hasn't said a single word or even displayed any emotion. We're all really worried."

"May we see him?" Yuki finally spoke up.

"He isn't awake yet, and I don't want anyone seeing him if he doesn't want to. If you want to stay here until he wakes up, I can ask if he wants to see you and your friends."

Haruhi said she would stay in a subdued voice, and they sat and waited. While they were sitting there, Haruhi just stared into space.

_This is entirely my fault_, she thought. _If I hadn't insisted on having a meeting that day, Kyon's father might still be alive and he wouldn't be in this mess. Damn it, why am I so selfish? I'll bet he's furious with me, now. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't ever want to see me again, or even if he wants to quit the Brigade. Damn, there I go again, fretting over Brigade issues! Kyon, I am so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I had no idea! Why didn't you say anything? _

"Ms. Suzumiya? Are you okay?" Itsuki asked.

Haruhi straightened up and put on her brave face. "I'm doing fine," she said.

"Haruhi," he used her first name for the first time ever. She turned to look at him. "It wasn't your fault, you know."

Surprisingly, a tear formed in Haruhi's eye. She wiped it away quickly. "If he hadn't shown up, his father might still be alive now."

"You have no way of knowing that," Itsuki replied. "For all you know, Kyon might have died too if he had gone."

_He must feel really guilty about what happened. That's why he tried to kill himself, to make up for what he considers a mistake. Kyon, I'm so sorry, for everything! If I could go back in time and change what happened, I would! Please, don't die!_

Finally, about five hours later, Haruhi was awakened by someone gently shaking her awake.

"Hey, Kyon's awake now," Haruhi heard Itsuki say.

She bolted up and asked, "So can we see him yet?"

"One moment. His mother and sister are going to go ask now."

She felt nauseous as she waited. She wanted to see him, but was afraid to face him at the same time. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Kyon's mother came back with an answer.

"He said he didn't care."

Her heart fell at that. She wanted to see him, but the answer he gave was hurtful. She supposed she did deserve it, though. With tears in her eyes, she grabbed her bag and ran out. She didn't go back to the hospital.

* * *

><p><p>

Weeks passed. Haruhi canceled Brigade activities until further notice. She kept sinking into a deep depression. She couldn't stop blaming herself for what had happened to Kyon and his dad.

Finally, one day, Mr. Okabe announced that Kyon was going to come back in a few days, but that something would be different about him. He wasn't allowed to say.

After class, Yuki walked into the classroom and handed Haruhi a small piece of folded paper.

"Yuki, what–?"

"Read it," Yuki interrupted her. She then walked out of the classroom, leaving a stupefied Haruhi. She looked down at the piece of paper. All it said was, "To Haruhi." She opened it. There was a small note inside. It read "Please meet me in your clubroom. We need to talk. Please."

The handwriting looked familiar, but she couldn't place it. She decided to go, however.

She walked down the hall to the clubroom. When she opened the door, she was shocked at what she saw.

Besides the dust that had collected and a few cobwebs, there was someone in a wheelchair staring out the window silently. He had a North High uniform on. HAruhi closed the door behind her.

"You want to tell me what this is all about?" Haruhi asked.

"Nice to see you too," the voice said with a hint of amusement

Haruhi gasped at the voice. The man wheeled himself around. It was Kyon. He still had bandages around his wrists.

"K…Kyon…?"

"Hello, Haruhi."

Haruhi felt tears form in her eyes. She was about to leave when Kyon shouted, "Wait!" She turned and was surprised at what she saw. In the light, she saw tears forming in Kyon's eyes.

"I asked you here to apologize. I'm sorry I behaved the way I did."

"Kyon…"

"No, let me finish, please. I was angry, hurt and sad. I was angry at you a bit, but nostly I was angry at myself. Sometimes I still am. I was hurt because you didn't even seem to care about me. I was sad because my father died, and I could have done something to stop it. I am sorry for my earlier behavior toward you. I didn't want to feel anything. Can you forgive me?"

At that she broke down and threw herself on Kyon. His chair flew back a few feet.

"Kyon, you don't need to apologize. I should be apologizing to you! You had every right to treat me the way you did. If I hadn't been so selfish, I…I…" she blubbered and continued to cry. Kyon held her there.

"Haruhi…it wasn't your fault."

"B…but…"

"It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I should have gone with my dad that day, but I didn't."

She broke the hug, looked at him angrily with tear stained eyes and slapped him. Hard.

"Kyon! If it wasn't my fault, then it wasn't your fault either. No one could have seen this coming! Please, don't keep beating yourself up. Please?" She collapsed into Kyon's arms and continued sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Haruhi."

"So am I, Kyon."

They just sat there, holding each other, comforting each other. Eventually, Haruhi fell asleep in his lap. Kyon had his mom drive her home, and then he went home.

But not before giving the sleeping Haruhi a light kiss on the cheek. Of course, if he had looked closer, he would have seen Haruhi's lips curl upward into a smile.

* * *

><p>In the end, both learned something from the experience. Haruhi had learned to open up her feelings to others more and what it meant to be a true leader. Kyon had gained confidence, inner strength and even some wisdom.<p>

It was a shame, however, that he had to lose the use of his legs in the process. For you see, that fall he took caused the lower part of his body to become paralyzed.

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><p><strong>Oneshot I always wa<strong>**nted to do. Enjoy!**

**morbiusgreen  
><strong>


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